Call them conventions, networking events, conferences, festivals, or whatever, they all have a few things in common:
- Lots of people in a relatively small space
- Tons of energy, enthusiasm and other emotions that don’t start with “e”
- Pockets/purses full of business cards
- Marketing pitches (from hosts/exhibitors/presenters/attendees)
- Nice people
- Not-so-nice people (although these seem to be rare at the events I’ve gone to, I know they exist
)
As an Introvert, all of this can be very overwhelming.
The people, the information, the noise, the constant hand-shaking-card-exchanging-what-do-you-do, the bumping & jostling to walk through the hallways or even get a seat (and being forced to sit with new people after every session). It can take a huge toll on people who get their energy from solitude and quiet and find bubbly social butterflies baffling (and annoying in large doses).
If you’ve been following this blog for any length of time, you’ll know I’m one of them. Too many people make me antsy, tired and eventually cranky. So here’s how I survived—and even enjoyed!—the last event I attended in Fort Lauderdale.
Check in with yourself. Often.
Since I have a tendency to get overloaded and overwhelmed in both intense learning environments & social situations, I needed to pay attention to my cranky-meter. I’m not a nice person to be around when I’ve been too long without a break. If I felt tied in knots or unsettled, I went off by myself for a while.
Seek solitude.
I took every lunch break and even some between-session breaks to be alone and quiet in the hotel room or took a walk outside (we had a gorgeous pond and golf course behind the hotel) to ground myself. Deep breaths helped too.
Know your limits.
I had initially set the goal of handing out every last one of the 100 business cards I brought with me. First day through the event and I had just about reached my new people limit. For the entire event. So I didn’t push myself the next 2 days, and tried to get to know the folks I had met on day one a little better.
Don’t be afraid to leave the room if you’ve reached your limit. Excuse yourself gracefully and move to a quiet spot to collect your thoughts.
Rest.
I couldn’t resist the infectious enthusiasm and motivation that comes from such an inspirational event, and I felt the need to start on all the things I had learned and knew I needed to do for my business. But my brain was a bowl of noodles. Each night of the event my husband asked what I learned & what I did and all that would come out was “Uhhhh.”
I needed rest. Sunday after the event I parked my arse on the couch with a good book and read in between naps.
And on Monday it all came pouring out of me. I told my husband of the entire weekend, called my mom and told her just about everything, and then started implementing some of the stuff I learned.
Take something with you that’s familiar and comfortable.
I never go anywhere new without a book – one of my favorites that I’ve read countless times. I’ve taken the pillow I use on my bed before, and when I was slightly younger (in my 20′s) I took a stuffed tiger named Moe.
Stretching yourself beyond your introvert safety zone doesn’t have to be painful. Just know yourself and your limits, rest and get quiet as you need to, and you’ll be able to handle just about anything.
photo credit: Joe Shlabotnik
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#1 by Nancie on February 24, 2010 - 1:31 pm
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I love this, Alexia!! These are fantastic tips…it’s so important to prevent burnout and overwhelm. And what a great idea to take something that is familiar. Thanks for posting.
#2 by Kelly Parkinson on February 24, 2010 - 9:53 pm
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I am taking this as permission to bring Jane Austen with me everywhere! Thank you for these tips. Highly reassuring to know that other highly sensitive people are out in the daylight, mingling with the extros at conferences. I’ll look for you all with your novels and stuffed tigers!
#3 by Andrew Lightheart @alightheart on February 24, 2010 - 9:57 pm
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Hey Alexia
I’ve been working on this recently.
Realised that I hold myself to weird standards when I go to events – that I need to push myself to meet people and be ‘bright’.
Went to a book reading the other night, and just have myself permission to be a bit shy.
Ended up asking loads of questions, but at least I didn’t spend all my energy on forcing myself to do things which, from a certain perspective, are fake anyway.
Glad to see I have company.
#4 by Karl Staib - Work Happy Now on February 24, 2010 - 10:04 pm
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I can get overwhelmed very fast and I don’t take enough time for myself. These are great ideas. My favorite is to seek solitude. My next event SxSW I’ll go for a walk in the middle of the day to collect my thoughts. Thanks.
#5 by Shawna R. B. Atteberry on February 25, 2010 - 12:17 am
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This is very timely. I will be at a networking event in a couple of weeks. It’s only for the evening, but to date over 200 people have RSVP’d. I will definitely be looking over this before I head out.
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#6 by Michelle on April 6, 2010 - 3:52 pm
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Good stuff, and helpful reminders! I like the idea of giving myself a goal of business card distribution…that alone feels like a way to give a safe structure to group time! and more permission to rest! thanks!