Alexia Petrakos

Not your average eclectic…

Archive for category Musings

Of Fear, Toads & Fountain pens

Oct 30

Posted by Alexia in Musings | 3 Comments

Frog*Originally posted at The Black Sheep Project*

This week’s near-breakdown is brought to you by the “OMGthisisreallyhappeningwhathaveigottenmyselfinto” brand of Fear.

I took a pretty big leap this week with my new venture. Both thanks to my coach and my lovely new accountability group.

In the span of 5 days I went from having a vague idea of what it would look like to an almost fully-fleshed out vision and two venues to share my ideas with the world.

Or at least my corner of the great state of Georgia.

For now… Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , , ,

You Need a Mentor

Oct 19

Posted by Alexia in Musings | No Comments

A LessonLong before university was the “obvious” next step, most young people were apprenticed to a master. They’d learn a trade from someone who’s been doing it for a while and was successful enough to afford to keep and train an apprentice.

These days the most we get from our normal path of schooling & work are a boatload of advisors (teachers, parents, relatives…). They sort of know how to get where you’re going (if they know at all) and can sort of steer you in the right direction. But more often than not, they’ve not been where you want to go. That is, unless you want to be a teacher or get into the family business.

In order to succeed as a bit of an unconventional person (self-employed, non-traditional jobs, etc) you need a mentor. Someone who has been where you want to go.

Of course you need to figure out where you want to go first, but once you have that nailed down, you need to find a mentor to help you on your way.

So how do you go about finding a mentor?

Jared Matthew Kessler’s book “Your Uncommon Guide to Finding the Ultimate Mentor” is the place to start.

Jared takes you through exercises and steps that help you find your mentor. This book also explains what a mentor is, why you need one, what the mentor/apprentice relationship looks like, how to find your mentor and how to cultivate that relationship.

And  how is Jared such an expert?

As I’m living proof, let the compass guide you along in finding the path worth creating in living the life you choose to lead (not what someone else sold you to believe). The difference? Having a mentor instead of an advisor.

He found a mentor around 10 years ago, lifted himself out of his crummy circumstances and is now helping others find their own way with his books, blog & the Black Sheep Project.

Off to complete the exercises & find my mentor (although I have a few in mind…). How about you?

Sign up on Jared’s email list to get in on the pre-sale event going on October 22-24. You’ll be able to get the eBook before it’s released to everyone else and get it at a lower price.

*none of these are affiliate links… I just like what Jared’s doing & want to help!

Creative Commons License photo credit: eddidit

Tags: , , , ,

Someone who shares my views on Passion…

Oct 16

Posted by Alexia in Musings | No Comments

Finally!

I found someone who articulates my views on passion. After floundering with my last few posts on passion and seemingly getting nowhere, Derek Sivers of CD Baby fame comes along and says exactly what I want to say:

It’s dangerous to think in terms of “passion” and “purpose” because they sound like such huge overwhelming things.  If you think love needs to look like “Romeo and Juliet”, you’ll overlook a great relationship that grows slowly.

He goes on to say instead of doing something as big as finding your “passion,” notice what excites you.

Notice what scares but intrigues you.

There is where your “passion” lies.

Then go for it.

Tags: , , , ,

Passion is Highly Overrated: Part 3

Sep 18

Posted by Alexia in Musings | No Comments

scream and shoutThis is probably the last I’ll say about the subject…

I think I’ve figured out what my problem with the phrase “Find Your Passion.”

It’s the other 5-ish definitions that get me – those ones describe intense & sometimes violent emotion. I know the definitions of the word passion includes “extravagant fondness” and “boundless enthusiasm,” but the majority have this sort of frenzied character to them.

Definitely uncomfortable.

My family knows this, and a few close friends do as well, but I’ve had my share of intense & violent emotion – mostly to no good end.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve mellowed quite a bit and have been able to temper all that temper. But as a result of my intensely-emotion-ed childhood, the word passion comes with a lot of negative stuff.

I don’t have a problem with actually finding what you’re meant to do, what you love to do.

I’m intently searching for this right now.

But I can do without the word Passion.

Maybe some re-framing is in order? I mean, it’s just a word after all.

Or maybe I just go along with a more serene approach to it all…

Creative Commons License photo credit: mdanys

Tags: , , ,

Passion is highly overrated: Redux

Sep 12

Posted by Alexia in Musings | 2 Comments

I apparently hit a nerve over on Facebook when I posted a link to my previous post. I do wish the discussion took place on the blog, but it brought up some things I’d like to explain.

So this is how I see things, speaking of Passion & Love regarding what your life work should be:

  • Passion does not equal Purpose.
  • Purpose is something entirely different, but can include your passions/loves.
  • Passion is not bad, just unsustainable.
  • Passion can push you to do incredible things, but so can love
  • Passion can grow into love, which is sustainable.
  • It’s perfectly OK to have more than one passion OR love.

I’m till working on this whole concept of trying to find ways to turn some of my wild hairs & passions into sustainable “things.”

Not all of them, since I know that the Scanner/Renaissance Soul in me despises being pigeonholed, but I’m discovering a few of my interests are turning into life-long loves.

How does a passion turn into something more sustainable?

Can you craft a good life/business chasing after passions or do people need something deeper than that?

Tags: , , , ,

Passion is highly overrated

Sep 9

Posted by Alexia in Musings | No Comments

Fire Eyes by Photos8.comI don’t get the whole “find your passion” thing. It may just be a matter of semantics, but here’s what I’m seeing:

Passion is hot and fiery and burns out rather quickly.

Fires can’t burn forever. And they usually destroy everything they touch.

Why would I want to find my “passion” if it’s just going to fizzle after a while and burn up my energy?

What I want is Love.
Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , , , , , ,

Confessions of an Impostor

Sep 6

Posted by Alexia in Musings | 2 Comments

Part of self-development is realizing those areas that hold you back as well as the really cool things about yourself.

So what about the things that hold us back?

Here’s one I’ve been reading about lately:

The Impostor Syndrome — where people who seem talented & intelligent call their achievements “flukes” or “accidents” instead of attributing it to their own hard work and effort and are often overcome with self-doubt.

The Quiz

Here’s a quick Impostor Syndrome test – answer “Yes” or “No:

*Do you secretly worry that others will find out that you’re not as bright and capable as they think you are?
*Do you sometimes shy away from challenges because of nagging self-doubt?
*Do you tend to chalk your accomplishments up to being a “fluke,” “no big deal” or the fact that people just “like” you?
*Do you hate making a mistake, being less than fully prepared or not doing things perfectly?
*Do you tend to feel crushed by even constructive criticism, seeing it as evidence of your “ineptness?”
*When you do succeed, do you think, “Phew, I fooled ‘em this time but I may not be so lucky next time.”
*Do you believe that other people (students, colleagues, competitors) are smarter and more capable than you are?
*Do you live in fear of being found out, discovered, unmasked?
Dr. Valerie Young, ImpostorSyndrome.com

A “Yes” to any of the above, “welcome to the club” as Dr. Young says. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , , , , ,

In where I get really transparent…

Sep 4

Posted by Alexia in Musings | No Comments

invisible ipodI recently took on a huge project that drained me of my energy within two days.

This is a recurring thing. I usually end up wondering how I could fail so miserably at something that excited me just two days ago.

I think part of the problem is that I let the excitement get the better of me and don’t think things through.

I’m most definitely not a planner, but I’m working on that.

I find that although I really enjoy thinking up really cool stuff, I have a hard time with actually finishing.

After I get a really cool idea I rush headlong into it.

When my energy dies and I start sucking, instead of just pulling back and re-evaluating my projects, I just stop.

I end up with lots of UFO’s that way (un-finished objects).

So I’ve identified a pattern. Thanks Havi for introducing this concept to me.

And this pattern really gets me stuck, depressed, angry and frustrated.

Maybe instead of rushing headlong into things without a solid plan, I need to feel the excitement, the fluttery-ness in my stomach when I think about the new project, but then instead of going ahead and DOING it, maybe I need to slow down and write it down.

I need to honor my idea with the care and respect it deserves and plan out a way to make it happen.

Write all the details, where I want the project to go, what I hope to accomplish, how to get there and how to put it all into action.

Only then should I go do it.

Or maybe I should just find a way to keep generating really cool ideas and let someone else take care of the implementation. Do people get paid for that? And how can I get in on it?

Creative Commons License photo credit: timsnell

Tags: , , , ,

So money is payment for…?

Sep 3

Posted by Alexia in Musings | No Comments

Michelle Ward’s latest newsletter hit me hard today.

She went through her working life after college and noticed that only a small percentage of the time was she being paid well for something she loved.

The rest of the time she was paid for drudge work, or not paid very well at all.

Her own coach helped her see that she thought money is payment for torture.

All my life I’ve been paid for doing stuff that really didn’t make me sing.

Some of that work was (and is) borderline torturous. Other work was just plain boring.

I know I can make money doing what I love – after reading countless books and listening to talk after talk about finding your love(s) and making your living at it/them, I know there’s a way.

But my deeply-held beliefs about money have got to change…

Are you saying, “Money is payment for torture” or “Money is payment for what I have to offer the world”?

Tags: ,

Writing “My Story”

Aug 27

Posted by Alexia in Musings | 1 Comment

I’ve been listening to Suzanne Evans, a marketing/business coach, and the main thing that keeps coming up is “tell your story.” Tell people who you are and where you’ve been because empathy is your best marketing tool.

How, exactly am I supposed to relate my “story” to helping people with WordPress? What in my past is related to how people feel about their ability to handle their own websites? Is that all I can offer? Why should someone work with me as opposed to the other hundreds of WordPress teachers or cheap coders from eLance?

I suppose I need to keep asking those questions to finally arrive at a usable answer. I know that each of my unofficial mentors (including Suzanne) have their stories on the web in one form or another. I related to their stories, liked how they approached their businesses and felt I could learn from them.

So what about me?

Tags: , ,