Alexia Petrakos

Not your average eclectic…

Archive for category Musings

Onions: the rise & fall of my career as a stand-up comic

Aug 27

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Onions! I was making spaghetti sauce the other night. I grabbed an onion.

The skin went in to the actual onion, about three layers deep.

“Freaky Onion,” I muttered.

“Sounds like a band name…” Said hubs.

I started chopping and said “Freakin’ Onion” because they were wreaking havoc on my  eyes.

Hubs said “That’s it! The Freakin’ Onions!”

As I continued chopping, some fell on the floor.

“Crap! I’m losing half my freakin’ onion!”

Hubs asked “Is the band breaking up?”

“Yes. The drummer and bass player eloped and never came back. I heard they formed a new band in Vegas called the Wild Onions.”

Continuing chopping…

“My eyes are burnin’. That’s the title track”

“Tears are streamin’ down my face. The hit single.”

“Chop ‘em right or Gordon Ramsey’s gonna have a coronary. That’s the B-side.”

“I’m here all week….”

Hubs is oddly silent.

“I thought I was funny… did I take it too far?”

Hubs: “Yep.”

“You started it!”

Hubs: “Yep.”

Thus ends my stint as a kitchen comedian…

Anywho, I have a leetle announcement to make. I am a guest lecturer for Catherine Caine’s Awesome Website Extravaganza (AWE for short)! I think my module goes live in October, but you can sign up for the whole shebang using my handy-dandy affiliate link. Yep. You sign up, you create a rockin’ website, and you help me too! Sweet eh?

Have a loverly weekend you awesome person you!
Creative Commons License photo credit: Danielle Scott

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I found myself again in ultraviolet hair

Jul 28

Posted by Alexia in Musings | 8 Comments

This past weekend I decided it was time to dye my hair.

No, not to cover up the grey, although I have a few strands plus a patch on the back of my head. It’s small enough, thankfully, to be covered up by the rest of my hair. It’s a family trait apparently. Before my dad went mostly grey, I could pick him out in a crowd by the white patch on the back of his head.

I digress…

I dyed a streak of hair at the front of my head purple this past Saturday night. Ultraviolet to be exact.

Here’s proof:

Yeah... No longer 20. The bags prove it.

My husband (then boyfriend) introduced me to dyeing my hair unnatural colors in the late 90s. So why did I decide to do this again in my 30′s?

I don’t have a “real job” that pressures me to look a certain way, so that gives me a lot of leeway.

But I didn’t do it just for kicks.

I dyed my hair because it feels more “me”

I’ve been feeling a bit lost and out of sorts and slightly bored lately and needed something to remind me of who I am. Something I can see daily to ground myself. A reflection of the independent, slightly eccentric, creative person I am. Not to mention I keep seeing older women with my hair cut and I get a bit edgy when I feel I’m looking too much like everyone else.

And it’s way less painful than a tattoo. Although I’m thinking of getting one of those, too.

Which got me thinking about staying grounded and remembering who you are… and then I remembered I actually wrote about this and won something cool because of it.

And then I though about why I haven’t written anything about it since.

Dude, it’s scary.

I cried when I wrote that. I cried when I read it again.

I don’t think I’ve ever cried writing something before.

And I know that means something big. And it freaks me out.

Not quite sure yet what the something big is, but I think I’ll keep writing about it to find out.

So until then…

What keeps you connected with who you are?

I’d love it if you left a comment. Thanks :)

Of Fear, Toads & Fountain pens

Oct 30

Posted by Alexia in Musings | 3 Comments

Frog*Originally posted at The Black Sheep Project*

This week’s near-breakdown is brought to you by the “OMGthisisreallyhappeningwhathaveigottenmyselfinto” brand of Fear.

I took a pretty big leap this week with my new venture. Both thanks to my coach and my lovely new accountability group.

In the span of 5 days I went from having a vague idea of what it would look like to an almost fully-fleshed out vision and two venues to share my ideas with the world.

Or at least my corner of the great state of Georgia.

For now… Read the rest of this entry »

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You Need a Mentor

Oct 19

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A LessonLong before university was the “obvious” next step, most young people were apprenticed to a master. They’d learn a trade from someone who’s been doing it for a while and was successful enough to afford to keep and train an apprentice.

These days the most we get from our normal path of schooling & work are a boatload of advisors (teachers, parents, relatives…). They sort of know how to get where you’re going (if they know at all) and can sort of steer you in the right direction. But more often than not, they’ve not been where you want to go. That is, unless you want to be a teacher or get into the family business.

In order to succeed as a bit of an unconventional person (self-employed, non-traditional jobs, etc) you need a mentor. Someone who has been where you want to go.

Of course you need to figure out where you want to go first, but once you have that nailed down, you need to find a mentor to help you on your way.

So how do you go about finding a mentor?

Jared Matthew Kessler’s book “Your Uncommon Guide to Finding the Ultimate Mentor” is the place to start.

Jared takes you through exercises and steps that help you find your mentor. This book also explains what a mentor is, why you need one, what the mentor/apprentice relationship looks like, how to find your mentor and how to cultivate that relationship.

And  how is Jared such an expert?

As I’m living proof, let the compass guide you along in finding the path worth creating in living the life you choose to lead (not what someone else sold you to believe). The difference? Having a mentor instead of an advisor.

He found a mentor around 10 years ago, lifted himself out of his crummy circumstances and is now helping others find their own way with his books, blog & the Black Sheep Project.

Off to complete the exercises & find my mentor (although I have a few in mind…). How about you?

Sign up on Jared’s email list to get in on the pre-sale event going on October 22-24. You’ll be able to get the eBook before it’s released to everyone else and get it at a lower price.

*none of these are affiliate links… I just like what Jared’s doing & want to help!

Creative Commons License photo credit: eddidit

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Someone who shares my views on Passion…

Oct 16

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Finally!

I found someone who articulates my views on passion. After floundering with my last few posts on passion and seemingly getting nowhere, Derek Sivers of CD Baby fame comes along and says exactly what I want to say:

It’s dangerous to think in terms of “passion” and “purpose” because they sound like such huge overwhelming things.  If you think love needs to look like “Romeo and Juliet”, you’ll overlook a great relationship that grows slowly.

He goes on to say instead of doing something as big as finding your “passion,” notice what excites you.

Notice what scares but intrigues you.

There is where your “passion” lies.

Then go for it.

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Passion is Highly Overrated: Part 3

Sep 18

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scream and shoutThis is probably the last I’ll say about the subject…

I think I’ve figured out what my problem with the phrase “Find Your Passion.”

It’s the other 5-ish definitions that get me – those ones describe intense & sometimes violent emotion. I know the definitions of the word passion includes “extravagant fondness” and “boundless enthusiasm,” but the majority have this sort of frenzied character to them.

Definitely uncomfortable.

My family knows this, and a few close friends do as well, but I’ve had my share of intense & violent emotion – mostly to no good end.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve mellowed quite a bit and have been able to temper all that temper. But as a result of my intensely-emotion-ed childhood, the word passion comes with a lot of negative stuff.

I don’t have a problem with actually finding what you’re meant to do, what you love to do.

I’m intently searching for this right now.

But I can do without the word Passion.

Maybe some re-framing is in order? I mean, it’s just a word after all.

Or maybe I just go along with a more serene approach to it all…

Creative Commons License photo credit: mdanys

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Passion is highly overrated: Redux

Sep 12

Posted by Alexia in Musings | 2 Comments

I apparently hit a nerve over on Facebook when I posted a link to my previous post. I do wish the discussion took place on the blog, but it brought up some things I’d like to explain.

So this is how I see things, speaking of Passion & Love regarding what your life work should be:

  • Passion does not equal Purpose.
  • Purpose is something entirely different, but can include your passions/loves.
  • Passion is not bad, just unsustainable.
  • Passion can push you to do incredible things, but so can love
  • Passion can grow into love, which is sustainable.
  • It’s perfectly OK to have more than one passion OR love.

I’m till working on this whole concept of trying to find ways to turn some of my wild hairs & passions into sustainable “things.”

Not all of them, since I know that the Scanner/Renaissance Soul in me despises being pigeonholed, but I’m discovering a few of my interests are turning into life-long loves.

How does a passion turn into something more sustainable?

Can you craft a good life/business chasing after passions or do people need something deeper than that?

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Passion is highly overrated

Sep 9

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Fire Eyes by Photos8.comI don’t get the whole “find your passion” thing. It may just be a matter of semantics, but here’s what I’m seeing:

Passion is hot and fiery and burns out rather quickly.

Fires can’t burn forever. And they usually destroy everything they touch.

Why would I want to find my “passion” if it’s just going to fizzle after a while and burn up my energy?

What I want is Love.
Read the rest of this entry »

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Confessions of an Impostor

Sep 6

Posted by Alexia in Musings | 2 Comments

Part of self-development is realizing those areas that hold you back as well as the really cool things about yourself.

So what about the things that hold us back?

Here’s one I’ve been reading about lately:

The Impostor Syndrome — where people who seem talented & intelligent call their achievements “flukes” or “accidents” instead of attributing it to their own hard work and effort and are often overcome with self-doubt.

The Quiz

Here’s a quick Impostor Syndrome test – answer “Yes” or “No:

*Do you secretly worry that others will find out that you’re not as bright and capable as they think you are?
*Do you sometimes shy away from challenges because of nagging self-doubt?
*Do you tend to chalk your accomplishments up to being a “fluke,” “no big deal” or the fact that people just “like” you?
*Do you hate making a mistake, being less than fully prepared or not doing things perfectly?
*Do you tend to feel crushed by even constructive criticism, seeing it as evidence of your “ineptness?”
*When you do succeed, do you think, “Phew, I fooled ‘em this time but I may not be so lucky next time.”
*Do you believe that other people (students, colleagues, competitors) are smarter and more capable than you are?
*Do you live in fear of being found out, discovered, unmasked?
Dr. Valerie Young, ImpostorSyndrome.com

A “Yes” to any of the above, “welcome to the club” as Dr. Young says. Read the rest of this entry »

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In where I get really transparent…

Sep 4

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invisible ipodI recently took on a huge project that drained me of my energy within two days.

This is a recurring thing. I usually end up wondering how I could fail so miserably at something that excited me just two days ago.

I think part of the problem is that I let the excitement get the better of me and don’t think things through.

I’m most definitely not a planner, but I’m working on that.

I find that although I really enjoy thinking up really cool stuff, I have a hard time with actually finishing.

After I get a really cool idea I rush headlong into it.

When my energy dies and I start sucking, instead of just pulling back and re-evaluating my projects, I just stop.

I end up with lots of UFO’s that way (un-finished objects).

So I’ve identified a pattern. Thanks Havi for introducing this concept to me.

And this pattern really gets me stuck, depressed, angry and frustrated.

Maybe instead of rushing headlong into things without a solid plan, I need to feel the excitement, the fluttery-ness in my stomach when I think about the new project, but then instead of going ahead and DOING it, maybe I need to slow down and write it down.

I need to honor my idea with the care and respect it deserves and plan out a way to make it happen.

Write all the details, where I want the project to go, what I hope to accomplish, how to get there and how to put it all into action.

Only then should I go do it.

Or maybe I should just find a way to keep generating really cool ideas and let someone else take care of the implementation. Do people get paid for that? And how can I get in on it?

Creative Commons License photo credit: timsnell

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