This weekend was my husband’s turn to lead the worship band at church. He wanted me to sing two songs on Sunday as well as play bass, which I normally do. I happily agreed, but when he showed me the second song, I crumbled.

My singing voice is very much alto. I’m comfortable there. It’s easy and it sounds good.

The song he wanted me to sing was in a key that hits the top of my range. There’s one note I have to reach waaay up to the tippy top of my voice to sing, where I’m SO not comfortable (technically, my head voice).

He tried to make the song easier for me by changing the key so it would fit my range. Finally after six key changes he said “Forget it, you’re singing it in C. If I move it anywhere else, no one will be able to sing along.”

My heart sank. I cried because it was hard. I could do it but I was stretching myself vocally more than I had in a long time.

I was scared.

Practice on Saturday was rough. I got through the song and reached all the notes, although a little weak and warbly.

Sunday practice right before the service was a disaster. My voice cracked all over the place and when I tried to hit that high note, nothing came out. I was banned from coffee (which dehydrates you — not good for the vocal cords), ordered to drink tons of water and some nasty-ass Throat Coat tea, and not to sing harmony at all until I sang that one song.

All the band members came to me and told me I’d do fine, that I did it in practice the day before, that they knew I could do it. My husband hugged me and said he believed in me.

I cried from the stress of needing to get it right. I cried because it was hard and scary and I was about to completely screw up a beautiful song in front of the entire church.

I did it anyway.

I got up on stage with my bass in the back right corner right next to the drums. You really can’t see me on stage unless you’re sitting on the far right (that’s stage right).

I had two bottles of water on top of my bass amp, one half-full. The set started and I warmed up my voice by humming along instead of singing harmonies. Took sips of water when my hands were free.

Then the song came up. The one. I hit those notes humming during the intro to test out my voice. I took a deep breath and breathed in the energy of the people in front of me, the confidence I didn’t have from wherever I could find it and I opened my mouth to sing the first note.

It worked. I sang. I hit every note. I did it. And it felt good.

The moral of this story is:

Set yourself up for success.

I didn’t.

I had been drinking coffee like I normally do every morning and dried out my vocal cords on Sunday. That’s a recipe for disastrous singing. Strike 1.

I also didn’t warm up that much before I got to practice on Sunday. Because I still feel like a dork doing those vocal warm-up exercises. Strike 2.

And I was nervous as hell because I didn’t believe I could hit those notes. Strike 3.

Because success feels good.

When you break through the scary and do something amazing, it feels way better than cowering in a corner, never doing anything…

♥ ♥ ♥

Take care of yourself.

If you’re doing something that’s scary (and if you’re not, why not?) be good to yourself. When I did the things I should have done to begin with, I did the scary and did it well.

Sleep well. Drink lots of water. Eat well. Get yourself moving. Surround yourself with cheerleaders and people who believe in you.

And believe that you already have everything you need to do that scary thing. Because you do.

Have you done anything scary lately? Something that’s stretched you outside your comfort zone? How’d you do it?

♥ ♥ ♥

p.s. One thing I neglected to mention is that I’m technically half-deaf. I was born with a 50% hearing loss in both ears (funny how they call it a loss when you were born without it) because of underdeveloped nerves in my head. You wouldn’t know it unless I told you. So I’m telling you.

p.p.s. Here’s the song I sang. The lyrics were altered to “thank you for loving me, thank you for hearing me, thank you for finding me, thank you for healing me, thank you for saving me” by David Crowder. Originally by Sinéad O’Connor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj_xKA5C2vU

photo credit: JanPeder Flood http://www.sxc.hu/profile/janpeder