The other day my husband shocked me with a rather deep, insightful conversation about his priorities. About what he spends his time & energy on versus what makes him the happiest.
He broke it down into 4 areas:
- Who I’m with
- Where I am
- What I have
- What I’m doing
He then asked himself what makes him happy.
Since all of those things make him happy to some extent, he rephrased the question: “What makes me happy for the longest time?”
And he came up with his order:
- Where I am : He’s thinking of MOVING! *gasp*
- Who I’m with
- What I’m doing
- What I have
Then he thought about what life looks like now and where he’s spending the most energy & time.
It’s the last item on his list. The thing that makes him happy for the shortest amount of time.
And it got him asking more questions:
- Why do I spend the most time on the thing that doesn’t last?
- How can I start living in a way that reflects the order of conditions?
- What do I need to do/change/be?
My husband is change-averse. This is what really threw me for a loop.
He got me thinking. My list looks like this:
- What I’m doing: I get bored easily. Must be able to do new & different things as I see fit.
- Who I’m with: I treasure awesome people. Get out of the house. Talk to people more.
- Where I am: Keep office & studio clean. Possibly move closer to cultural center.
- What I have: Toys are always fun. Save for good stuff. Just don’t spend all your time lusting/buying.
So how about you? How do you order these happiness conditions? And what do you need to do or change to bring more of what makes you happiest into your life?
Photo Credit: Christa Richert http://www.sxc.hu/profile/Ayla87
This is a really interesting exercise. I’m not sure how well I’d fare.
I think my list is:
* Who I’m with – I need to actually spend time around my friends
* What I’m doing – I love my job. I’ve finally found the thing I’d keep doing even if I won the lottery.
* Where I am – My environment is becoming more and more important to me as I age.
* What I have – I’ve really stopped worrying about acquiring Stuff. Now I save up for the big things I want, and let the little things slide most of the time.
Thank you for the food for thought!
APHB,
Quite an insughtful guy you got there. I really appreciate this entry — it fits nicely into the part of our family’s brocade that we’re weaving right now.
Thanks!
Derek
Isn’t it fun when your spouse surprises you?
I think my list goes in this order:
1) Who I’m with – not in the right environment/around like-minded people = miserable.
2) What I’m doing – I don’t really care so much what it is specifically that I’m doing, but it must, must, must be something that moves me. If my work and actions aren’t in line, the rest of it is all off-kilter.
3) Where I am – I can be happy most anywhere, if the above conditions are met, but sometimes the right place and time is essential to fueling the creative fire.
4) What I have – I just need to have the basics. The rest is just luxury (though I don’t mind some luxury now and again).