I created a lovely plan that would have helped me accomplish a lot this year and now I don’t even want to look at it.
It’s printed out in fancy type but I have the urge to rip it out of my planner… But I *love* my new planner. It’s pretty. So at least that makes me happy. That spreadsheet at the end, however, may have to go.
I know it’s one of the Monsters in my head saying stuff like:
“Well, now that everything’s planned out, you can’t deviate from the plan because you KNOW what happens when you deviate from the plan… Besides, you have it on paper AND on your computer so it’s set in stone. And you know how you get when things don’t go the way you expect so you better buckle down and do all this stuff now. No room for slacking off and daydreaming.”
Which actually ended up with me in a near-panic, feeling stifled & suffocated.
Definitely not a good sign, I don’t think.
So… My “plan” is on hold while I sort out the Monster in my head and get to the bottom of why I’m feeling this way. I have a feeling it has something to do with the fact that I’m a Scanner and tend to lean right (brain, that is).
And that this is the first time I’ve ever planned anything out in this detail on my own.
And I think my creative brain is rebelling against all this structure… But my left brain which was pretty dominant during my younger years is forcefully reminding me that without structure I don’t get much done (but what is “done?”).
I think I’ll go read a few different perspectives on this whole goal setting thing…
How to Make Unstupid Goals: Naomi’s current series on goals is making me focus on what *I* want.
Tuning Into Your Essence: Jen Louden has a magical way of calming me down & tuning back in to what’s really important.
Put Things Off and Do Nothing to Get More Done: A bit counter-intuitive, eh? But it makes sense. Those of us whose primary work is creative require LOTS of down time – not busy work – to let those epiphanies bubble to the surface in their own time. I think if I slow down a bit, I’ll be surprised at what comes up…
Why People Hate Productivity: Jonathan Mead says to Focus on Fulfillment, Create Value and Follow Your Natural Rhythms. I’ll have to read this one a few more times to figure out how to apply this to me, but it sounds a bit more free & open with enough structure that it may just work.
And just because it’s soup season, most of the US & the Northern Hemisphere is in the middle of an ice age, and because it’s all about comfort: Four Warm & Cozy Soups.
#1 by Amy on January 6th, 2010
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I full acknowledge that my aversion to planning out my business or my year is because I know my monster will say the same thing.
If it will help, feel free to throw out the spreadsheet of doom.
#2 by ABCcreativity on January 6th, 2010
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ahhhhh i know these monsters well.
the good news is – you are definitely stronger than they are.
#3 by Carrie on January 6th, 2010
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My monster is saying “We are x number of days into 2010 and I’m very disappointed in your progress so far.”
All I want to say to that is
#4 by Angel on January 6th, 2010
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My monster just tells me that it hates the homework i have to do until friday and it won’t let me do that…*sigh* and I have a ton of other ideas instead that i would prefer to do.. yes, its hard to be a scanner
.
#5 by Angelique on January 15th, 2010
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Thanks for the additional goal setting links and the scanner description. I need to read that more deeply and see if it resonates with me. I know the initial sensation of sometimes doing nothing because I want to do LOTS of things felt right, but I know there’s more to it.
Sorry you and your planner aren’t getting along at the moment. I’m feeling pretty well supported by mine–it’s not structure closing me in, but more like providing me prompts of where I need to put my time, attention, and passion.