Alexia Petrakos

Part of self-development is realizing those areas that hold you back as well as the really cool things about yourself.

So what about the things that hold us back?

Here’s one I’ve been reading about lately:

The Impostor Syndrome — where people who seem talented & intelligent call their achievements “flukes” or “accidents” instead of attributing it to their own hard work and effort and are often overcome with self-doubt.

The Quiz

Here’s a quick Impostor Syndrome test – answer “Yes” or “No:

*Do you secretly worry that others will find out that you’re not as bright and capable as they think you are?
*Do you sometimes shy away from challenges because of nagging self-doubt?
*Do you tend to chalk your accomplishments up to being a “fluke,” “no big deal” or the fact that people just “like” you?
*Do you hate making a mistake, being less than fully prepared or not doing things perfectly?
*Do you tend to feel crushed by even constructive criticism, seeing it as evidence of your “ineptness?”
*When you do succeed, do you think, “Phew, I fooled ‘em this time but I may not be so lucky next time.”
*Do you believe that other people (students, colleagues, competitors) are smarter and more capable than you are?
*Do you live in fear of being found out, discovered, unmasked?
Dr. Valerie Young, ImpostorSyndrome.com

A “Yes” to any of the above, “welcome to the club” as Dr. Young says.

We’re not Alone

Mike Meyers often says that he feels the “no-talent police” will find him.

Jodie Foster and Mena Suvari both successful actors (and Jodie a director) both struggle with this as well. They’re all wildly successful by society’s standards but don’t measure up in their own eyes.

So my struggles with all this started when I was a kid. My family emphasized achievement, and as a first-born I tended (and still do) to take things a little too seriously. I’m not blaming them for where I am today, just recognizing this is how I got here.

I  got straight A’s and by the time I was in High School, I lectured myself for getting less-than-perfect scores.

I was a very high-strung kid.

Today this manifests itself in almost extreme perfectionism in certain areas — if I don’t live up to my own unreasonably high expectations, I end up calling myself stupid (among other things).

And that perfectionism stops me in my tracks.

I know I’m not stupid, I know I’ve done some pretty cool things, I know mistakes are merely human, and I know I’m way too hard on myself.

Yet this is a pattern of mine that needs to be dealt with. Gently though. I have to learn to be gentle with myself.

Not an easy thing to do.

Links & Articles

Here are a few links about the Impostor Syndrome. Most focus on women, but there are men who struggle with this too:

• Internal barriers, personal issues, and decisions faced by gifted and talented females
• The Courage to Define Yourself
• Talented women underestimating or stifling their abilities
• Valerie Young’s Impostor Syndrome Site
• Valerie Young’s Impostor Syndrome Blog

And a quick quote on how this syndrome may have come about in women:

“The root cause of fraudulent feelings is the fraudulent roles we are asked to play as part of systems of achievement that are hierarchical and competitive.” -associate director of the Wellesley Centers for Women, Dr. Peggy McIntosh

P.S. I don’t write this stuff to garner sympathy, scorn or anything in-between. I write to improve myself, explore areas that need exploring and hopefully help others in the process.

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