Tagged: HSP

Feb 23

The Introvert’s Guide to Surviving Events

Tiger

Call them conventions, networking events, conferences, festivals, or whatever, they all have a few things in common:

  1. Lots of people in a relatively small space
  2. Tons of energy, enthusiasm and other emotions that don’t start with “e”
  3. Pockets/purses full of business cards
  4. Marketing pitches (from hosts/exhibitors/presenters/attendees)
  5. Nice people
  6. Not-so-nice people (although these seem to be rare at the events I’ve gone to, I know they exist ;) )

As an Introvert, all of this can be very overwhelming.

The people, the information, the noise, the constant hand-shaking-card-exchanging-what-do-you-do, the bumping & jostling to walk through the hallways or even get a seat (and being forced to sit with new people after every session). It can take a huge toll on people who get their energy from solitude and quiet and find bubbly social butterflies baffling (and annoying in large doses).

If you’ve been following this blog for any length of time, you’ll know I’m one of them. Too many people make me antsy, tired and eventually cranky. So here’s how I survived—and even enjoyed!—the last event I attended in Fort Lauderdale.

Check in with yourself. Often.

Since I have a tendency to get overloaded and overwhelmed in both intense learning environments & social situations, I needed to pay attention to my cranky-meter. I’m not a nice person to be around when I’ve been too long without a break. If I felt tied in knots or unsettled, I went off by myself for a while.

Seek solitude.

I took every lunch break and even some between-session breaks to be alone and quiet in the hotel room or took a walk outside (we had a gorgeous pond and golf course behind the hotel) to ground myself. Deep breaths helped too.

Know your limits.

I had initially set the goal of handing out every last one of the 100 business cards I brought with me. First day through the event and I had just about reached my new people limit. For the entire event. So I didn’t push myself the next 2 days, and tried to get to know the folks I had met on day one a little better.

Don’t be afraid to leave the room if you’ve reached your limit. Excuse yourself gracefully and move to a quiet spot to collect your thoughts.

Rest.

I couldn’t resist the infectious enthusiasm and motivation that comes from such an inspirational event, and I felt the need to start on all the things I had learned and knew I needed to do for my business. But my brain was a bowl of noodles. Each night of the event my husband asked what I learned & what I did and all that would come out was “Uhhhh.”

I needed rest. Sunday after the event I parked my arse on the couch with a good book and read in between naps.

And on Monday it all came pouring out of me. I told my husband of the entire weekend, called my mom and told her just about everything, and then started implementing some of the stuff I learned.

Take something with you that’s familiar and comfortable.

I never go anywhere new without a book – one of my favorites that I’ve read countless times. I’ve taken the pillow I use on my bed before, and when I was slightly younger (in my 20′s) I took a stuffed tiger named Moe.

Stretching yourself beyond your introvert safety zone doesn’t have to be painful. Just know yourself and your limits, rest and get quiet as you need to, and you’ll be able to handle just about anything.

Creative Commons License photo credit: Joe Shlabotnik

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Sep 18

Passion is Highly Overrated: Part 3

scream and shoutThis is probably the last I’ll say about the subject…

I think I’ve figured out what my problem with the phrase “Find Your Passion.”

It’s the other 5-ish definitions that get me – those ones describe intense & sometimes violent emotion. I know the definitions of the word passion includes “extravagant fondness” and “boundless enthusiasm,” but the majority have this sort of frenzied character to them.

Definitely uncomfortable.

My family knows this, and a few close friends do as well, but I’ve had my share of intense & violent emotion – mostly to no good end.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve mellowed quite a bit and have been able to temper all that temper. But as a result of my intensely-emotion-ed childhood, the word passion comes with a lot of negative stuff.

I don’t have a problem with actually finding what you’re meant to do, what you love to do.

I’m intently searching for this right now.

But I can do without the word Passion.

Maybe some re-framing is in order? I mean, it’s just a word after all.

Or maybe I just go along with a more serene approach to it all…

Creative Commons License photo credit: mdanys

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Sep 12

Passion is highly overrated: Redux

I apparently hit a nerve over on Facebook when I posted a link to my previous post. I do wish the discussion took place on the blog, but it brought up some things I’d like to explain.

So this is how I see things, speaking of Passion & Love regarding what your life work should be:

  • Passion does not equal Purpose.
  • Purpose is something entirely different, but can include your passions/loves.
  • Passion is not bad, just unsustainable.
  • Passion can push you to do incredible things, but so can love
  • Passion can grow into love, which is sustainable.
  • It’s perfectly OK to have more than one passion OR love.

I’m till working on this whole concept of trying to find ways to turn some of my wild hairs & passions into sustainable “things.”

Not all of them, since I know that the Scanner/Renaissance Soul in me despises being pigeonholed, but I’m discovering a few of my interests are turning into life-long loves.

How does a passion turn into something more sustainable?

Can you craft a good life/business chasing after passions or do people need something deeper than that?

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Sep 09

Passion is highly overrated

Fire Eyes by Photos8.comI don’t get the whole “find your passion” thing. It may just be a matter of semantics, but here’s what I’m seeing:

Passion is hot and fiery and burns out rather quickly.

Fires can’t burn forever. And they usually destroy everything they touch.

Why would I want to find my “passion” if it’s just going to fizzle after a while and burn up my energy?

What I want is Love.
( Read more )

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Sep 06

Confessions of an Impostor

Part of self-development is realizing those areas that hold you back as well as the really cool things about yourself.

So what about the things that hold us back?

Here’s one I’ve been reading about lately:

The Impostor Syndrome — where people who seem talented & intelligent call their achievements “flukes” or “accidents” instead of attributing it to their own hard work and effort and are often overcome with self-doubt.

The Quiz

Here’s a quick Impostor Syndrome test – answer “Yes” or “No:

*Do you secretly worry that others will find out that you’re not as bright and capable as they think you are?
*Do you sometimes shy away from challenges because of nagging self-doubt?
*Do you tend to chalk your accomplishments up to being a “fluke,” “no big deal” or the fact that people just “like” you?
*Do you hate making a mistake, being less than fully prepared or not doing things perfectly?
*Do you tend to feel crushed by even constructive criticism, seeing it as evidence of your “ineptness?”
*When you do succeed, do you think, “Phew, I fooled ‘em this time but I may not be so lucky next time.”
*Do you believe that other people (students, colleagues, competitors) are smarter and more capable than you are?
*Do you live in fear of being found out, discovered, unmasked?
Dr. Valerie Young, ImpostorSyndrome.com

A “Yes” to any of the above, “welcome to the club” as Dr. Young says. ( Read more )

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Aug 16

The Highly Sensitive Person

Sensitiva (Miquel Blay, MRABASF E-76) 01

I recently discovered in addition to being an introvert & eclectic (renaissance soul/scanner), I’m also an HSP or “highly sensitive person.” I think this is a bit odd to share with the world, but I suppose one of the things I strive to do is be understood (and understand others, but I think that comes with being INFP & HSP). ( Read more )

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