Tagged: self-development

May 04

Strengths and the pursuit of happiness

Big Teeth, Big Muscles, Big Fist ...nice TattooI’ve been doing lots of reading and reflection on strengths and happiness. Well, I’m always reading and reflecting but this is a bit more focused. Sorta.

The Beginning.

It kind of started when Crystal of Big Bright Bulb brought up the “If you’re so smart, why aren’t you rich” question. Someone had asked her that question and she, and rightly so, got rather annoyed.

Which led me to think about focus (sneaky thing), intelligence, skills, strengths, happiness, competence… which led me to dig up my DISC profile I took after reading 48 Days to the Work You Love (I’m a “Communicator” by the way) and sharing it with the ever-helpful Yolanda who urged me to pick up Now Discover Your Strengths.

And Jen, the Comfort Queen, surprised me with this synchronicitous post on Strengths yesterday morning, so I took it as a sign I needed to explore this a bit more. And I thank Sting for teaching me the meaning of Synchronicity.

Indulging my personality test addiction.

I took the StrengthsFinder test with the code in the book I bought this week & discovered them (adaptability, strategic, ideation, intellection & input). All of that means I’m a strategic thinker who can’t really follow through on the strategy because she gets bored easily, loves coming up with new ideas, tends to the intellectual/introspective and can move quickly from one thing to another.

Confession: I also bought the StrengthsFinder 2.0 Kindle version just so I could get the code for the latest version of the StrengthsFinder inventory. Yes, I got the same results, but it also offered 10 suggestions to improve on each of your strengths.

I’m also thinking of buying the updated version of 48 days…

Did I mention I’m kind of a self-discovery/development nut? I think it comes with the Psychology degree.

So where am I with this now?

Still slogging through, but I think all these profiles and reflection are helping me see what I’ve done and what I’m doing more clearly. I see those strengths and qualities within me, and I’m getting a bit jazzed (thanks, Jen) by the prospect of  improving my strengths instead of my weaknesses (organization, follow-through, patience, focus (!), persistence). I truly don’t need another excuse to dwell on why I suck…

This is also helping me refine my offerings at Thrive Creative Coaching, and going a long way to figuring out how I’m going to structure my biz.

A Positive Psychology Primer

(note: if psychology makes you want to gouge your eyes out, I promise it won’t be long, or you can just skip this section…)

I have a BA in Psychology as I mentioned before and this is part of what drives my need to figure myself and others out. Since I graduated, positive psychology has gained more influence, and I’ve been reading a lot of books on it. I’ve mainly focused on Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s work on creativity. And please don’t ask me to pronounce his last name.

It’s not a new branch of psychology. I guess you could say that Positive Psychology began way back with Plato’s and Aristotle’s inquiry into what makes up a good life. It also incorporates the work of more recent humanist psychologists like Maslow (heirarchy of needs & self-actualization), others who focused on self-efficacy and giftedness and has been championed by Dr. Martin Seligman.

The Discover Your Strengths book and Gallup’s work on the StrengthsFinder profile are just a couple of results from Positive Psychology. There’s even a Positive Psychology iPhone App called “Live Happy” that gives exercises and techniques to help you live a happier life.

If you really want to read more, here’s UPenn’s website for Positive Psychology and Dr. Seligman’s Authentic Happiness site and a list of Positive Psychology readings & videos.

(now back to the stuff…)

So, this is what I have so far:

Work on improving what I’m no good at = torture, misery, reduces self-esteem and confidence through repeated failure, no motivation to push through the suck

Work on improving what I’m good at = fun, exciting, increases self-esteem and confidence through successes, motivation to push through the suck

And because I’ve been reading/listening to folks like Lee & Johnny on their Question the Rules product* and Mark Silver about heart-based goal setting….

Why I’m not rich yet, although I’ve been told I’m smart: I tend to dwell on my weaknesses and ignore my strengths, so I stay in a place where I’m not using my strengths. What I really want isn’t money, but a lifestyle & feeling, and that’s closer than I think.

I’ll do some more thinking and a bit more writing on all of this, but I’m liking this direction.

So, what do you think?

Leave comments below please. :)

*Yes, it’s an affiliate link… the amazon links aren’t, however. I have no problem with you paying them directly, but why not help out more than one person in one go? ;)


Creative Commons License photo credit: tibchris

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Posted in Life

Dec 28

The Obligatory End of the Year Post

AthenaAround this time last year was the very first theme I’ve ever claimed for the new year.

In 2009, I decided on “Learning.”

I wanted to learn about things I thought I wanted to do.

I took an intro to Art Therapy class from SCAD.

I wanted to learn more about myself and what it was that I was meant to do. And I think I may have finally got it (at least for now ;) ).

I wanted to learn as much as I could about marketing and business. So I listened and read and signed up for a 6-month-long course.

I could be completely satisfied learning in one setting or another for the rest of my life. But I also learned that there is a time for action.

Out of all this learning came quite a few really good things:

( Read more )

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Posted in dreams

Oct 28

Starred Items, and a gooey meat hand…

Meat HandWow. I really need to get more non-linky-posts up here. At least I have a regular routine established for Wednesdays. Maybe starting up a regular Monday & Friday post will spice things up a bit.

So… that said, here are the Starred Items for this week:

  1. What U2 Can Teach You About Being Timeless
  2. Planning what’s realistic and doable: I’m not too fond of the word “Realistic” as I think it places too many limits. I prefer just “Doable” instead.
  3. Whattaya Whattaya Whattaya: You have all you need right now to do what you want to do. So why aren’t you doing it?
  4. Taking care of the goose: The goose that lays the golden egg, aka YOU.

    and a super-spooky icky gross link just in time for Halloween

  5. Make A Meat Hand: this would be so perfect for dinner this Saturday… if you can get over the über-gross factor there.

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Posted in Links

Oct 16

Someone who shares my views on Passion…

Finally!

I found someone who articulates my views on passion. After floundering with my last few posts on passion and seemingly getting nowhere, Derek Sivers of CD Baby fame comes along and says exactly what I want to say:

It’s dangerous to think in terms of “passion” and “purpose” because they sound like such huge overwhelming things.  If you think love needs to look like “Romeo and Juliet”, you’ll overlook a great relationship that grows slowly.

He goes on to say instead of doing something as big as finding your “passion,” notice what excites you.

Notice what scares but intrigues you.

There is where your “passion” lies.

Then go for it.

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Posted in Musings

Oct 07

Starred Items: Because You Need a Kick in the Butt

1129312_karate_3

Enjoy this week’s links & go do something…

You’ll feel better. I promise.

*Photo by Kriss Szkurlatowski

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Posted in Links

Sep 30

Starred Items: Goals Edition

4916As you’re reading this I’m probably on a plane back home from visiting my parents and sister for a week. Good times & I got some fantastic clothes, shoes & a new haircut! Love you mom :) .

Today I wanted to highlight some helpful goal-achieving posts. Some are more on-topic than others, but generally these are some ideas and concepts that are slowly seeping into my own life.

I’m aware that I have 2 links from Ittybiz.com, but they’re definitely not the same author.

What goals are you working on these days?

Me? I’m working on a new business that incorporates more than just my tech side, keeping the 25 pounds I recently lost OFF, and formulating a plan to declutter and finally decorate my house.

Creative Commons License photo credit: sakura_chihaya+

And one last link… Wanna win a MacBook Air? :) Yes, it’s related to goals… how? A great computer can help you achieve some goals…

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Posted in Links

Sep 24

My Personal Manifesto

Marcus Whitman's Compass - EditedI’m still working through Johnathan Mead’s Reclaim Your Dreams: An Uncommon Guide to Living on Your Own Terms and I promised last time that I’d post the results of the personal manifesto exercise.

I’d do the rest of the fun & creative exercises but as I’m out of town at my parents’ and flying with all my art supplies & huge poster board is unwieldy at best, I’ll have to hold off on vision boarding until I get back home.

Creating a personal manifesto is something new for me. I’ve always held certain values but I’ve never articulated them. This was my chance to make it real.

I ended up writing two versions. One that explains every word I’m about to list – that one’s for me only and clarifies what I mean by each one.

Below is the short version of my personal manifesto. And yes. I’ve capitalized words for a reason.

I am strong, creative, empathic*, sensitive.

I empower, impart, instruct, create.

I live for family, Love, beauty, myself.

I strive for Truth, freedom, sovereignty, authenticity.

This short version of my personal manifesto is easy to remember. Something I can write on a small 3×5 card and memorize easily.

I think a manifesto is a living document and I will revisit this after a while. But I think it’s a good start.

Do you have a personal manifesto? What does it look like?

*Empathic… well, I struggled with whether to use empathic or empathetic since both are equally acceptable in modern English. Being a sci-fi buff, it feels a little odd to use empathic, since I’m clearly not an Empath but empathetic just sounds well… pathetic. Enough geeking out for now.

Creative Commons License photo credit: jc.westbrook

p.s. You can get the eBook for 1/2 off! Jonathan is celebrating his bday by giving everyone else a gift. Get the book already!

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Posted in dreams

Sep 19

Reclaim Your Dreams: A Review

ryd-book-smallI recently got a copy of Johnathan Mead’s Reclaim Your Dreams: An Uncommon Guide to Living on Your Own Terms. It’s an eBook I’ve been eyeing lately and was ecstatic when I finally got my copy.

The premise is this: You CAN go after your dreams. You just have to undo a few things that may be in your way and do some exploring. The answers are already there – inside your very own head.

The first part is called Unbrainwashing or Creating Room for Your Dreams to Grow. This part lays the groundwork for getting rid of old patterns and ways of thinking that prevent you from even considering going after your dreams.

One thing that I’ve realized lately is that I was made for a purpose. That purpose is related to the things love to do. And if I don’t do what I’m meant to do, I’m wasting my gifts.

Those of us who’ve gone through traditional schooling have more than likely had dreams squashed and gifts go unnoticed or even ridiculed. My dreams were squashed before I even realized what they were! We’ve been domesticated to be compliant drones in the corporate world where dreams really don’t have any place.

The first part of Reclaim Your Dreams is difficult and can get rather uncomfortable. You have to blast away the habits and clutter in your life to make room for the new stuff – your dreams. I admit I’m not quite proficient and not caring what others think and reclaiming my own mind (my mind battles itself constantly) but I’m getting there.

The second part of Reclaim Your Dreams helps you define your dreams through a series of exercises and gives you some practical ways to move towards them. If you’ve done ANY self-development work, these exercises may not be anything new, but together with the first part of the eBook, they seem a bit more potent than when I’ve done them before.

I admit I’m writing this review before completing the entire eBook but I’m excited about the possibilities. I’m working through the Personal Manifesto exercise at the moment and can’t wait to finish the rest.

I’ll post an update after I complete the book.

In the meantime, check it out for yourself. Jonathan offers a free sample chapter so you know what you’re getting into before you plunk down the cash. And really – it’s not a lot of cash. Skip lunch out for the next week.

Your dreams will thank you.

And if you’ve done the Personal Manifesto exercise, I’d love to read it! Post it in the comments (I’ll post mine next time).

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Posted in Reviews

Sep 18

Passion is Highly Overrated: Part 3

scream and shoutThis is probably the last I’ll say about the subject…

I think I’ve figured out what my problem with the phrase “Find Your Passion.”

It’s the other 5-ish definitions that get me – those ones describe intense & sometimes violent emotion. I know the definitions of the word passion includes “extravagant fondness” and “boundless enthusiasm,” but the majority have this sort of frenzied character to them.

Definitely uncomfortable.

My family knows this, and a few close friends do as well, but I’ve had my share of intense & violent emotion – mostly to no good end.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve mellowed quite a bit and have been able to temper all that temper. But as a result of my intensely-emotion-ed childhood, the word passion comes with a lot of negative stuff.

I don’t have a problem with actually finding what you’re meant to do, what you love to do.

I’m intently searching for this right now.

But I can do without the word Passion.

Maybe some re-framing is in order? I mean, it’s just a word after all.

Or maybe I just go along with a more serene approach to it all…

Creative Commons License photo credit: mdanys

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Posted in Musings

Sep 08

Starred in my Reader…

Here’s some stuff that I’ve been re-reading often this week so far. I’d promise to make this a weekly thing, but I’m not so good at keeping promises like that. So I’ll probably do it once in a while – do a bit of a star-dump on the blog to share with you folks.

The people who wrote these blog posts are real, authentic, and true. Which is why these articles resonate with me so much. As you probably know from previous posts, I’m in a time of transition, of re-evaluating my values, my life, how I treat myself and how I’m going to live from now on. And most of the starred stuff from this week touches on that.

Enjoy.

How To Live Your Life Without Goals
Why Creative Entrepreneurs Don’t Need to Worry About Free
Freedom From Self-Improvement: Share the Love
10 Ways to Live in the Moment Every Moment of your Life
How to Create Your Personal Manifesto
If Your Soul is Calling, Listen

And if you like, share a few of your favorite, most resonant posts from this past week in the comments.

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Posted in Life

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